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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27646718">Self-conscious</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunxrphse/pseuds/lunxrphse'>lunxrphse</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Eating Disorders, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:56:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,579</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27646718</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunxrphse/pseuds/lunxrphse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I just want to be pretty."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Huening Kai/Kang Taehyun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kang Taehyun wasn't one to worry about his appearance. He wasn't one to worry about how perfect his hair was, or if he was gaining a little too much weight, but that all changed when he saw Kai Kamal Huening. Hueningkai was about the most perfect person Taehyun has ever seen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was beautiful, so beautiful. He had a slim figure. and he was tall. Again, Hueningkai was perfect. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taehyun had always considered himself cute. He had chubby cheeks, and his figure, although he wasn't skinny, he wasn't exactly overweight either. But at this moment. Taehyun didn't feel cute. He didn't even feel average. He felt below average, looking at Hueningkai, looking at him interacting with others, seeing girls and boys fawning over him left and right, knowing that Hueningkai will never love him, looking like this. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taehyun sat at a lunch table eating his food. His two friends Jeongin and Hyunjin sat there as well. Jeongin and Hyunjin are together. As in dating, as in </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> helplessly in love. But Taehyun couldn't deny that they were adorable together. He was glad that they are together. Taehyun glances a bit to his right, catching a glimpse of Hueningkai, his milky pale skin, and his tousled brown hair. The embodiment of perfection. Suddenly Taehyun wasn't hungry anymore. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taehyun leans back away from his tray and watches his two friends bicker over something incredibly stupid. Jeongin needs help with his math homework, Hyunjin just told him to google the answers or use a calculator. He rolls his eyes at the argument, turning his attention back to Hueningkai. And then it hit him. Taehyun needed to lose weight. That was the only way Hueningkai would ever notice him. Is if he lost weight. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Taehyun sat on the floor of the school’s bathroom, hunched over a toilet, forcefully heaving up anything he’s eaten all day. Taehyun forgot how painful vomiting was, the force of it racked his whole body, as he dipped even further towards the toilet. With one last dry retch he lifts himself from the bathroom floor, wiping his mouth, he flushes the toilet. Suddenly there was a loud sound. Taehyun jumps and then mentally facepalms. It had just been the bell. School was out. Taehyun picks up his backpack from the bathroom floor and hurries out of the bathroom and runs smack into Hueningkai. Oh gods. The two boys collide with a thud and Taehyun falls backwards landing on his backside. "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't see you!" Hueningkai exclaims, holding out a hand to help Taehyun up. Taehyun glances up at Hueningkai and does a double take. Was he blushing? No, no way, Its probably just the cold. But Taehyun couldn't say the same for himself. He places his hand in Hueningkai's and lets the boy pull him up. "S--Sorry for uh, r--running into you." Taehyun winces at his stutter. Kang Taehyun was not one to stutter. Hueningkai just smiles and picks up Taehyun's backpack from the floor and hands it to him. "T--Thanks." Hueningkai smiles again. "You're welcome. Taehyun-ssi." And then Hueningkai waves and walks away, heading out of the building. Taehyun stood there staring after him for about five seconds. Kai Kamal Huening knew his name.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Taehyun hasn’t eaten food for about a week, of course he would eat the occasional ice cube, but that was it. He was currently standing in front of his mirror, examining his body. The changes were very obvious. Taehyun’s once cute build was gone, he was now lean and slim, although he wasn’t as skinny as he wanted to be. He giggles to himself at the results his body held. But for him to get as skinny as he needed to be for Hueningkai, he needed to lose more weight. Taehyun decided he wouldn’t eat for another week. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Although Taehyun was happy with his results, he wasn’t quite happy with the effect it was having on him. It made him dizzy and sometimes even made him faint. But Taehyun was okay with that, he had to look perfect for Hueningkai and he was prepared to make sacrifices for that. Taehyun glanced over at his clock, it was a little past eight. He sighs loudly, school, of course. He quickly gets dressed and heads downstairs, he opens the freezer and takes an ice cube out of the ice dispenser, popping it into his mouth. There's his lunch, breakfast, and dinner. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taehyun arrived at school on time to his surprise, usually he was running a little late. He huffs at realizing that today he had gym, he groans and begrudgingly makes his way to the gym. Taehyun’s annoyance didn’t last long, because Hueningkai’s class was in the gym today. He fights to keep his lips from curling up into a smile as he gazes at Hueningkai talking to his friends. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright,” The gym instructor starts, “Everyone go and change out!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taehyun rolls his eyes because he knows that they’re changing out for no reason, they’re literally going to sit around and do nothing. He stands up and regrets it immediately, black spots cloud his vision and he staggers back, blinking, it clears and he rubs his eyes. He hoists up his backpack, slinging it over his shoulders and heads to the boy’s locker room. Taehyun glares at the staircase in front of him. He lifts one foot and places it on the first step and lifts himself up, he pants, his legs throbbed painfully. It was almost as if he couldn’t support his own weight. He repeats the process several times before he reaches the top of the staircase. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>By the time he made it to the locker room  everyone had exited. He walks inside and sets his book down, he rummages through it looking for spare clothes, that's when the dizziness hit. He clutches his head stumbling backwards, the black spots clouding his vision. His vision almost completely blocked, and then everything went black.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hueningkai sighed as he listened to the gym instructor take attendance. The class was boring because of course they weren’t doing anything in gym. Hueningkai almost favored being in Biology class, almost. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Kang Taehyun?” The gym instructor asks, looking around. Not spotting the boy. “Absent.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This confused Hueningkai because he swore he had seen the small blonde. “Uh, sir! Taehyun’s here.” Hueningkai announces, looking around, wondering where he had gone to. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t see him, therefore he is absent.” The gym instructor states. “Uh, I’ll go look for him!” Huening blurts, the gym instructor raises an eyebrow before nodding. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hueningkai gets up from his seat and makes his way out of the gym. He looks around for a long time, even knocking on classroom doors and asking about the blonde.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Last but not least he decides to check the locker room. He walks down the hallway and past the bathrooms, straight to the locker rooms. Honestly, he didn’t think this was necessary, usually the locker rooms are locked after use so there's no way he’s in there. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He opens the locker room door and his heart jumps into his throat. There was Kang Taehyun, laid sprawled out on the floor, unconscious. He runs over to the boy and kneels down next to him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Taehyun? Taehyun! Wake up!” He shouts, shaking the boy, but no response. He places a finger under said boy’s nose and sighs in relief when he feels breath coming out.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Although the boy was breathing, he needed to go to the nurse. Hueningkai places his arms underneath the boy and lifts him, carrying the boy bridal style, and takes him to the nurse. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cold, that’s the first thing that came to Taehyun’s mind when he opened his eyes. He stares at the white walls littered with stickers and get well posters. He groans in realization. He was in the nurse’s office. He had to get out of here. He sits up and swings his legs off of the cot and stands up, and immediately collapses with a groan to the floor. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The door swings open and there in all of his perfection is Kai Kamal Huening. He looks at Taehyun with such a worried look and rushes over to him. He helps Taehyun up, easing him back onto the cot. At that moment the nurse walks in, a serious expression on her face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Kang Taehyun, have you been eating?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Damn, straight to the point. He fidgets with his shirt. “I, uh, if you count ice cubes, then yes.”  Hueningkai looks at him with such a horrified expression and Taehyun looks down in shame. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why Haven’t you been eating?” Hueningkai asks, his expression filled with concern. “Please, be honest.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taehyun looks up and mumbles something incoherent. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm? I couldn’t hear.” Hueningkai says, leaning closer to the older. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I just want to be pretty.” Taehyun says, slightly louder. Hueingkai tilts his head in confusion. “You’ve never worried about your appearance before.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, well that’s before I had a crush on you, literally the most perfect person.” As soon as the statement ends, Taehyun’s eyes widen and he blushes, but he wasn’t the only one blushing this time. The two boys both look away from each other, the silence overwhelming before Hueningkai spoke. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, that's good then, because I kinda like you too.” Hueningkai mumbles, his cheeks colored a rosy color from blush.  Taehyun smiles and launches himself at the younger boy. They both tumble to the floor laughing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Kang Taehyun, you are perfect”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>end</span>
  </em>
</p>
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